How to Cope With C-PTSD: A Therapist's Guide to Healing

Disclaimer: The advice in the blog will not apply to every person with C-PTSD and this blog post is not a replacement for individual therapy. It would be very cool if it was. It would be cheaper and less time consuming than individual therapy. If I could write a blog post that would replace individual therapy I would happily to it. But I can't so instead this blog is just an informational blog post.

Can You Heal C-PTSD?

As a therapist who specializes in guilt and shame and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), I've witnessed the incredible resilience of individuals who have experienced deep emotional pain. C-PTSD is a complex condition that can arise from repeated or prolonged trauma, such as childhood abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or living through a prolonged war. Unlike PTSD, which is typically triggered by a single traumatic event, C-PTSD is often linked to a series of trauma incidents that overwhelm a person's sense of safety, self-worth, and connection with others. People with PTSD usually went through something bad. For people with C-PTSD their trauma was basically their whole childhood and sometimes a good chunk of their adulthood too.

While the effects of C-PTSD can be debilitating, you can heal from C-PTSD. It requires patience, self-compassion, and an understanding of the ways in which trauma can affect the mind and body. Today I'm going to talk about all the things that I would start doing to heal from C-PTSD if I had just been diagnosed.

What Is C-PTSD?

Before we dive into the coping strategies, it’s important to understand what C-PTSD is and how it differs from PTSD. The symptoms of C-PTSD are often broader and more pervasive than those of PTSD. While PTSD can result from a single traumatic event, C-PTSD emerges from prolonged exposure to trauma over an extended period.

Common symptoms of C-PTSD include:

• Emotional dysregulation: difficulty managing emotions, often leading to extreme mood swings or numbness.

• Negative self-perception: feeling unworthy, ashamed, or "broken."

• Difficulty trusting others: a sense of isolation or belief that others will always let you down.

• Intrusive memories or emotional flashbacks: flashbacks or constant reliving of the trauma. Sometimes these are emotional feelings that come without the memory.

• Hypervigilance: being on edge, easily startled, or having a constant sense of danger.

• Dissociation: feeling disconnected from oneself or reality, sometimes as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming feelings.

C-PTSD often impacts a person’s sense of identity, making it challenging to understand who they are outside of their trauma. I once was scrolling through twitter and saw a post that said "I feel like I need friends so I can copy what they do because otherwise I don't know who I am." and I couldn't help but think that person probably had a C-PTSD diagnosis. Healing from C-PTSD takes time, but with the right therapeutic tools, individuals can regain a sense of control, rebuild trust in themselves and others, and reconnect with their authentic selves. This is still available for people who didn't ever have a life or self before trauma.

1. Re-Fathering: Healing the Inner Child

One of the core elements of healing from C-PTSD is addressing the ways in which early trauma has shaped your sense of self, particularly if it involved a dysfunctional or abusive relationship with a parent or parent-figure. "Re-fathering" is a therapeutic concept that involves reparenting yourself and healing any wounds from your relationship with your father. This is important because the role of the parent (or lack thereof) often plays a significant role in the development of C-PTSD, particularly for individuals who experienced neglect, abandonment, or abuse from their parents.

In therapy, "re-fathering" can take many forms. The idea is not to replace the father but to help you learn to provide for yourself the care, validation, and emotional support you may not have received as a child. This can involve:

• Inner child work: Acknowledging and nurturing the part of you that still carries the pain of past wounds. In this process, you learn to offer yourself compassion and protection, something that may have been missing during your formative years.

• Creating a new inner narrative: Many people with C-PTSD carry negative beliefs about themselves, often as a result of toxic or neglectful father figures. Re-fathering allows you to replace those old, distorted beliefs with healthier, more supportive messages. For example, you may work on transforming self-critical thoughts like, "I’m not good enough," into more compassionate ones, like, "I am worthy of love and respect."

• Therapeutic techniques: Specific exercises in therapy, such as visualization or writing letters to your younger self or to your father, can be used to process and release past pain. These exercises may help you see your father (or the absence of him) from a more compassionate, adult perspective, giving you a sense of closure and emotional healing.

Re-fathering isn’t about excusing past behaviors or denying the harm caused by an absent or harmful father, but rather about learning to reparent yourself in a healthy and supportive way. Through this process, you can begin to heal the wounds that have shaped your emotional landscape, ultimately becoming your own source of strength and care. You can't fix the parents you had or didn't have. You can learn to meet the needs they never did and heal what they broke.

2. Mindfulness: Cultivating Presence in a World of Pain

Mindfulness is one of the most effective ways to cope with the overwhelming emotions and triggers associated with C-PTSD. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. For someone with C-PTSD, this practice can be incredibly healing because it helps create a safe space in the present moment, separate from the intrusive thoughts and painful memories of the past.

Why Mindfulness Works for C-PTSD

Mindfulness allows you to create distance from the intense emotional responses that often accompany trauma. Instead of becoming lost in the flood of emotions or dissociating from them altogether, mindfulness teaches you how to observe them from a grounded, neutral perspective. It also helps you develop a sense of agency over your reactions, which is vital when you're dealing with hypervigilance or intrusive flashbacks.

C-PTSD is not a mental illness (like it is but not really) It's a neurobiological illness. C-PTSD shaped your brain. The cool thing is that brains are very plastic and you can change it now. For those of you who have asked "can you heal from C-PTSD?" The answer is yes and it starts with retraining the brain.

Some mindfulness techniques that are particularly helpful for those with C-PTSD include:

• Grounding exercises: These exercises help you anchor yourself in the present moment and reconnect with your body. An example is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you identify five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This helps to shift your attention away from the trauma and back to the here and now.

• Breathwork: Deep, slow breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the body and reduce the physiological symptoms of trauma, such as a racing heart or shallow breathing. Try inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. This simple breathing exercise can provide a sense of safety and grounding.

• Body scan meditation: This is a great technique to reconnect with your body. In a body scan, you slowly bring attention to each part of your body, noticing any sensations, tension, or discomfort without judgment. This practice can help you identify areas where trauma is still being held physically and give you a sense of control over your body’s reactions.

• Loving-kindness meditation: This is a practice of offering yourself compassion and kindness. When you’ve experienced chronic trauma, it’s common to develop a harsh inner critic. Loving-kindness meditation can help soften this and create a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

• Mindful eating: What's the strongest pleasant sensory experience you've ever had? Probably eating. Something about food really engaged the brain. After you read the post go and find something delicious. A bag of takis, a bar of chocolate, a sushi roll, or a street taco. Pretend it's your first time eating it and like nothing else in life exists except this moment of you eating this taco. See how you feel after.

A word of warning, one or two mindfulness practices will not help your C-PTSD. You need continued daily mindful moments to begin retraining the brain to stop reliving the past and fearing the future.

Another word of warning. If you have C-PTSD then safety will actually likely trigger feelings of anxiety. If the first time you do mindfulness you feel triggered that is normal and expected. Don't let it push you out of your realm of tolerance but stick with it as long as you can. Don't swear it off because the first few times you do it it makes you more anxious.

3. Connecting With Others: Building Safe Relationships

For many people with C-PTSD, trust is a significant issue. The impact of betrayal, neglect, or abuse in relationships can make it difficult to feel safe with others. However, healing from C-PTSD involves reconnecting with others in healthy, supportive relationships.

• Therapeutic relationships: One of the first steps in learning to trust others again is working with a skilled therapist who can provide a safe space for you to process your trauma. The therapeutic relationship itself can be a model for what healthy, trustworthy relationships look like. I personally would suggest myself but there's many good therapists out there to help you. Try to find one that is at least trauma informed.

• Support groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar trauma can be incredibly healing. Support groups offer a sense of belonging and validation, and sharing your experience with others who understand can break the isolation often felt by those with C-PTSD.

• Healthy boundaries: Learning to set and maintain boundaries is a critical part of healing. It can be difficult for someone with C-PTSD to assert their needs, but practicing healthy boundaries with loved ones can help you reclaim your sense of autonomy and safety in relationships. I can often tell my clients are really starting to heal because they can say something like "No I don't want to come." without wallowing in shame and guilt for the next 24 hours. An even bigger sign is that their family will do something that would have previously made them spiral and instead of spiraling they just leave without feeling scared or bad.

• Gradual exposure: If you’ve become isolated due to trauma, it’s important to gradually reintegrate into social situations. Start small, perhaps with close friends or family members, and slowly expand your circle as you feel more comfortable.

  
  

4. EMDR: A Powerful Tool for Trauma Processing

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a highly effective therapeutic technique that helps individuals process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional charge. EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation (usually through guided eye movements) while the individual recalls traumatic events. This process helps the brain reprocess the memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity and allows the individual to integrate the memories more adaptively.

For individuals with C-PTSD, EMDR can be particularly beneficial because it targets deeply ingrained trauma memories and helps desensitize the emotional charge attached to them. EMDR can be an incredibly powerful way to process past trauma, decrease emotional reactivity, and shift negative beliefs about oneself into more balanced and positive perceptions. You don't have to share these memories out loud with your therapist if you don't want to.

The really cool thing is that it helps you believe in your bones the things you know in your head. I've had dozens of clients sit in my chair and do EMDR and start crying at the end because "everyone has always told me it wasn't my fault but I never believed it until now." C-PTSD is a disease of the brain and EMDR changes the way your brain stores memories.

How To Cope With C-PTSD: A Path Toward Healing

Coping with C-PTSD is a long and challenging journey, but it’s also one filled with incredible potential for healing and growth. By engaging in practices such as re-fathering, mindfulness, building connections with others, and exploring trauma-focused therapies like EMDR, you can begin to rewrite your narrative and reclaim your life from the grip of trauma. Remember, healing is not linear, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Every small victory along the way is a step closer to the peace and resilience you deserve. You should be able to learn who you are without the trauma you went through.