How to Tell If You’re Doing an Exposure—or Just a Mental Compulsion

How to Tell If You’re Doing an Exposure—or Just a Mental Compulsion

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is one of the most effective treatments for OCD, but even with the best intentions, it can be surprisingly easy to slip into doing a mental compulsion instead of a true exposure. For people with subtypes like Harm OCD, Relationship OCD, or Scrupulosity, the difference can feel incredibly blurry.

If you’ve ever walked away from an exposure wondering, "Did that actually help, or did I just do a compulsion in disguise?" you’re not alone. This post is for you.

Let’s break it down together—what real exposure looks like, how mental compulsions sneak in, and how to tell the difference so you can get the most out of your OCD treatment.

What Is Exposure in ERP?

Exposure, in the context of ERP therapy, means intentionally facing a feared thought, image, situation, or sensation that triggers your OCD. But the key part—the part many people miss—is what comes after the exposure: response prevention.

Response prevention means resisting the urge to do anything to neutralize, fix, or get certainty about the distressing thought or feeling. That includes physical compulsions and mental ones.

So, a true exposure might look like this:

• Reading a violent news story when you have Harm OCD and allowing the anxiety to exist without trying to reassure yourself.

• Sitting with the fear that you sinned without praying in a ritualized way to cancel the thought.

  
  

The essence of a good exposure is this: You’re doing something that feels unsafe, and you’re not doing anything to make it feel safe afterward.

What Is a Mental Compulsion?

Mental compulsions are the secret saboteurs of ERP.

While physical compulsions are easier to spot (like hand-washing or checking locks), mental compulsions are covert and insidious. They include:

• Ruminating or mentally reviewing past events

• Analyzing whether you felt aroused, guilty, or anxious

• Reassuring yourself in your head ("I would never actually do that")

• Trying to replace a scary thought with a positive one

• Praying in a repetitive, ritualized way

In OCD recovery, these can feel like you’re doing the work because they often happen during or after an exposure. But really, they’re your brain’s way of sneaking in a little safety behavior.

Here are some subtle ways mental compulsions show up during ERP:

• "I’ll sit with this scary thought, but only if I don’t feel okay with it."

• "I’m doing this exposure so I can prove I’m a good person."

• "I’ll look at this triggering image, but I need to make sure I feel disgusted."

These hidden agendas create conditions for the exposure. And when there are conditions, it’s not really an exposure anymore.

Exposure vs. Mental Compulsion: Key Differences

Let’s break it down:

Common Pitfalls That Turn Exposure Into Compulsion

1. Doing ERP to feel better, not to get betterIf the goal is to stop feeling anxious instead of learning to tolerate anxiety, that’s a compulsion.

2. Mental checkingYou do an exposure, but later you replay it in your mind to assess how it made you feel.

3. Conditional exposureYou’ll do it, but only under controlled circumstances. ("I'll think the scary thought, but only if my therapist is there.")

4. Using exposures to test yourselfTrying to prove something—like whether you felt aroused or if you still love your partner.

5. Seeking the "right" feelingYou expose yourself to a thought but then check to see if you felt enough guilt or anxiety. If not, you do it again until it feels "real."

   
   

How to Catch Yourself

If you’re not sure whether you’re doing an exposure or just a compulsion in disguise, try asking yourself these questions:

• Am I trying to figure something out or make a feeling go away?

• Would I still do this exposure if I knew I’d feel worse afterward?

• Am I doing this from a place of values, or fear?

• What am I secretly hoping will happen after this exposure?

Awareness is the first step. The more you ask these questions, the better you’ll get at catching yourself in the act.

How to Do Real Exposure Instead

Here are a few ways to shift back into meaningful exposure work:

1. Drop the goal: Don’t try to feel better. Try to feel whatever comes.

2. Lean into uncertainty: Welcome the idea that you might never know for sure. Say, "Maybe I am a bad person. Maybe I did sin. Maybe I don’t love my partner enough."

3. Accept being imperfect: You don’t need to do ERP perfectly. "Messy ERP is still ERP."

4. Stay grounded in values: Do the exposure because you want freedom, not because you want relief. There’s a big difference.

   
   

Final Thoughts

ERP is incredibly powerful, but it’s also nuanced. For people with trauma histories or deeply entrenched guilt and shame, it’s especially easy to slip into compulsions that look like exposures.

But here’s the good news: even recognizing this pattern is part of recovery. The more you practice noticing, the better you’ll get at turning toward uncertainty instead of away from it.

You don’t need to do this alone. If you’re feeling stuck in your OCD work or unsure whether your exposures are really helping, that’s a great conversation to bring into therapy.

Remember: the goal of ERP isn’t to feel safe—it’s to learn you can feel unsafe and still live a full, meaningful life.

You’ve got this.

Looking for a trauma-informed therapist who gets both OCD and shame? We offer free consultations by text at 801-477-0813.